Sunday, March 27, 2011

1st Post

So, I am very embarrassed by the amount of time it took me to figure out how to use this site...

I hope I don't scare anyone by posting this, but I want to be honest. The barney retreat was great, and that weekend, I decided that I needed to recommit to God. Not just live through him halfway, but be fully invested you know? and make myself more like him completely, not just on a shelf. So, that saturday when we were all sharing our testimonies in a group by using the verses, I said, "Walking by faith and not by sight," which I was. And I got home, reassured in my reconfirmed belief and immediately, and I mean AS SOON AS I got home, it was like Boom! God pretty much pulled everything I knew and was comfortable with and things that I was counting on, right out from under me. In no time at all. I am not exaggerating in the least. And I wonder desperately why He would challenge this fledgling, mustard seed, baby step faith... Logically it seems like He'd want you comfy and safe and secure in Him before he'd test you. It seems that way to me..
Im scared, to be perfectly honest, but I keep trying to remember Jeremiah 29:11... "for I know the plans I have for you... etc" we know it. So I really am walking by faith and not by sight right now cause I cant see a thing. From my view its pitch black out here. But I keep thinking about... was it John? when the disciples saw Jesus walking on water and Jesus said to come out to him and have faith that he would not let him drown- thats me, anyways, trying not to look down and trust.
I havent talked about the devotional at all.. I'm going through it though, I'll post about that later, cause I have some questions there too... Anyways, Im praying for you all! really, I am, because I'm so lost right now I can't even begin to sort out myself haha
Wishing you all the best
Lauren

3 comments:

  1. Lauren! Thanks for your thoughts! It sounds like it's been a challenging 2 weeks, but I want to affirm the heck out of you for the radical steps of faith you've been taking. Keep walking by faith and not by sight! Definitely praying for you and I look forward to catching up with you soon... Be looking for a call from me this week :)

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  2. I love that you said this:

    "Logically it seems like He'd want you comfy and safe and secure in Him before he'd test you."

    It totally does seem logical that He would let us be comfortable before we're tested, but what a cool reminder that the way the Kingdom operates doesn't make logical "sense" in the world's eyes! In the worldly perspective, we need some time to be strengthened before we could endure a challenge, but God reminds us that we are always weak and He is always strong, which means He can challenge us right from the start because it's HIS strength that will pull us through anyway.

    Know that you're in an awesome place, friend, because you're humbled and in the perfect position to allow God to do awesome things with your life. He will be faithful to carry you through!

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  3. Hi Lauren, The light shines in the darkness. Definitely sounds like Jesus is pushing you right now to trust Him more than ever. That's awesome. Blessings my friend, Steve

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