I hope I don't scare anyone by posting this, but I want to be honest. The barney retreat was great, and that weekend, I decided that I needed to recommit to God. Not just live through him halfway, but be fully invested you know? and make myself more like him completely, not just on a shelf. So, that saturday when we were all sharing our testimonies in a group by using the verses, I said, "Walking by faith and not by sight," which I was. And I got home, reassured in my reconfirmed belief and immediately, and I mean AS SOON AS I got home, it was like Boom! God pretty much pulled everything I knew and was comfortable with and things that I was counting on, right out from under me. In no time at all. I am not exaggerating in the least. And I wonder desperately why He would challenge this fledgling, mustard seed, baby step faith... Logically it seems like He'd want you comfy and safe and secure in Him before he'd test you. It seems that way to me..
Im scared, to be perfectly honest, but I keep trying to remember Jeremiah 29:11... "for I know the plans I have for you... etc" we know it. So I really am walking by faith and not by sight right now cause I cant see a thing. From my view its pitch black out here. But I keep thinking about... was it John? when the disciples saw Jesus walking on water and Jesus said to come out to him and have faith that he would not let him drown- thats me, anyways, trying not to look down and trust.
I havent talked about the devotional at all.. I'm going through it though, I'll post about that later, cause I have some questions there too... Anyways, Im praying for you all! really, I am, because I'm so lost right now I can't even begin to sort out myself haha
Wishing you all the best