Box of Shame

So today after school I couldn't sleep so I decided to watch Despicable Me. Adorable movie, but thats not the point. I read through the devotional after school and just could not get my head around forgetting my past in order to pursue Jesus like Peter did. In the earlier half of the movie, the girls go back to the orphanage and they are put in cardboard boxes with "Box of Shame" written on the front. I feel like I just always put myself in that box. Rather than being like, "hey Jesus, I am struggling with this and its embarrassing, but can you help me out?" I always try to hide it from God, which is ridiculous, because He knows everything. Jesus says in Mark 2:17

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

He then goes on and later says in Mark 3:27

"In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house."

Satan uses our sin to tie us up and plunder our houses.

I don't know about you guys, but I really struggle with coming to God with my shameful secrets (even though there are no secrets from God). I have been reading through a book called Celebration of Discipline (it would make Billy Graham feel like a bad Christian as my friend said when I mentioned I was reading it) but I recently got to a chapter about confession. God calls us to confess our sins to each other and to reaffirm to each other that we have been forgiven.

So as I frankly could have stated in one sentence but felt necessary to write a million paragraphs about, I really wish I could be more like Peter (not the whole betraying Jesus three times thing, but the whole forgetting everything to listen to God). I really don't think I have ever actually heard God say something to me. Maybe I just haven't been actively listening or I just haven't realized it, but this weekend my prayer is that God would really just give me a heart of confession and silence so I can fully hear what He is trying to do in my life. I would really appreciate prayer if you guys think about it. I also just want to encourage any of you, if you need someone to talk to your past about or just to come to with anything, I am always available...

Happy almost Friday!

-Haley